Reading Esther Derby's article on peer to peer feedback made me remember something that happened a few years ago (not here, I hasten to add). I'm sharing this as an example of how peer to peer feedback can resolve a situation, so that any women out there who are experiencing something similar might take courage and do something about it, and because maybe it might give any men out there who indulge in this kind of behaviour an idea of what it's like to be on the other side. This, gentlemen, is why the sexual harassment and discrimination laws were invented, and why so many women end up in court and the front page of the Times.

The company had a fairly laddish, alcohol-fuelled culture with only a few women (about 10%). The lines of 'appropriate behaviour' were somewhat blurred. If you're female, have attractive qualities, and want to know what it's like to work in a company with this kind of culture, go down to your local next time England are playing on a Saturday afternoon and take a seat. Hang around after the game. Most of the attention will be on the football, just as most of the company got on with their work, but there will be the occasional innuendo or flirtatious comment that may not be entirely unwelcome. Plenty of women thrive on attention. I certainly enjoyed my time with the company, and was sorry to leave the many friends I had made there.

However, sometimes blurred lines get crossed. ( This is the story of one such incident. )

I can't actually imagine a more difficult and embarassing situation to be in than that one (except those incidents at office parties that are problems entirely of our own making!), but in retrospect I'm really glad I dealt with it this way. It's given me the confidence to take people aside when I need to. I try not to let third parties deliver my messages any more. Because of this new confidence, I was able to help a developer I was mentoring become aware of his mistakes and improve his coding techniques well before his review. I was able to tell a colleague that smoking cigars is not better for you than cigarettes, and they smell far worse. I was able to tell the team leader who gave me the poor review about my frustration with getting the feedback on my code so late. Before I left, I also had a frank, open-minded and constructive discussion with a senior manager regarding the company culture and the problems it presented to female staff. And I told him this story as I've just told it to you.

Reading Esther Derby’s article on peer to peer feedback made me remember something that happened a few years ago (not here, I hasten to add). I’m sharing this as an example of how peer to peer feedback can resolve a situation, so that any women out there who are experiencing something similar might take courage and do something about it, and because maybe it might give any men out there who indulge in this kind of behaviour an idea of what it’s like to be on the other side. This, gentlemen, is why the sexual harassment and discrimination laws were invented, and why so many women end up in court and the front page of the Times.

The company had a fairly laddish, alcohol-fuelled culture with only a few women (about 10%). The lines of ‘appropriate behaviour’ were somewhat blurred. If you’re female, have attractive qualities, and want to know what it’s like to work in a company with this kind of culture, go down to your local next time England are playing on a Saturday afternoon and take a seat. Hang around after the game. Most of the attention will be on the football, just as most of the company got on with their work, but there will be the occasional innuendo or flirtatious comment that may not be entirely unwelcome. Plenty of women thrive on attention. I certainly enjoyed my time with the company, and was sorry to leave the many friends I had made there.

However, sometimes blurred lines get crossed. ( This is the story of one such incident. )

I can’t actually imagine a more difficult and embarassing situation to be in than that one (except those incidents at office parties that are problems entirely of our own making!), but in retrospect I’m really glad I dealt with it this way. It’s given me the confidence to take people aside when I need to. I try not to let third parties deliver my messages any more. Because of this new confidence, I was able to help a developer I was mentoring become aware of his mistakes and improve his coding techniques well before his review. I was able to tell a colleague that smoking cigars is not better for you than cigarettes, and they smell far worse. I was able to tell the team leader who gave me the poor review about my frustration with getting the feedback on my code so late. Before I left, I also had a frank, open-minded and constructive discussion with a senior manager regarding the company culture and the problems it presented to female staff. And I told him this story as I’ve just told it to you.

Originally published at Liz Keogh's blog. Please leave any comments there.

Reading the discussions between Patrick Morrison and Dave Hoover on Dave's pattern, Resist the Promotion (here and here), I hereby declare them to both be right and propose a new pattern, Step On Up.

This is what I think I'm doing by becoming an Agile Coach.

Dave says that he's aiming his patterns at new programmers, but I've found that a great deal of them are applicable to where I am in my career. I don't feel as though I've finished my apprenticeship yet, despite having over seven years of industry experience. Maybe they're applicable at various stages of apprenticeship. I've recently come to realise that there's a whole side to software development which involves communication, accurate feedback, customer interaction and other elements which have more to do with psychology than computing. Understanding the process which goes on in the minds of those involved in software production has to be an important part of software development. I accept that it's important to understand the technical aspects of the job in depth, and therefore resisting a promotion is important, but I feel it's equally important to recognise the point at which you as a developer can move on to help facilitate the process which turns ideas into reality.

The difference, I think, between the way Pat and Dave describe the transition to management is that Dave's concept of promotion is something which someone else decides you're ready for, whereas Patrick describes managers who really are ready. They've moved naturally into roles for which they're suited, and as a result have redefined their value to the team. It's very tempting to think that these managers, with their perfect lives and perfect facilitating abilities, have come to the end of their apprenticeships and are now considered to be masters. I don't think that ever happens. They've just taken a natural step which has pushed them on to another level of learning, beyond the ken of us mere mortals.

At the end of the day, the universe is a highly intertwined place. Unless you're God, you have no way of becoming master of the many interactions and influences which affect your project. Unless you're a Buddhist who's achieved enlightenment, I very much doubt that you're master of your own head. In the same way that an elderly monk might teach a young novice, yet never cease seeking enlightenment himself, I can't imagine a master who ever stops trying to master his craft. Apprenticeship has to be a life-long pursuit; a journey towards an unreachable destination, but an important journey nontheless.

Dave and Pat, if you read this; I'd be interested to know if this makes any sense to you. From my point of view, you're masters. Do you consider yourselves to have finished your apprenticeships yet?